PLDN Chapter 38
Chapter 38: Broken Dreams: The Aftermath/Broken Dreams: The Recovery Sub-Entry 371: "Broken Dreams. Adonis' Gambit Has Tainted Us All": It began with my core team at the fountain. "Commander..." "Bunnie...we lost a large chunk of ourselves. It may have just been stuff and cars but...in those moments...it was like Adonis perverted everything we fought before annihilating our safe place. It was like our man cave." "And shame on you from hiding that away from us, boss--" *WHAP* "Not the time Violet." Mitzi scolded. "Sorrrryyyyy." Vi sneered, a little incensed. "Do you have any idea where Dr. Adonis will strike next or what his next move is?" "Without knowing what his elite followers are volunteering to him? No. He doesn't plan. He doesn't strategize. He just...does things. He takes inspiration from one of the traitors that joined him and rolls with it while putting his own twists on things on a whim if he thinks they'll be more amusing in the long run. He's been following Heath Ledger's "Joker Diary" to the letter when he's not delivering sadistic one-liners from Jarod Leto and more recently I've been seeing him start ripping off Josquin Phoenix." "He's a bad man. Why won't he leave us alone?" Gadget sniffled, wiping her tears. "He can't. It's a sickness. It's the mark of a pathological hypocrite, liar, egomaniacal lunatic. He wants it, he needs it, he thrives of it, he's just completely consumed by it." Violet explained. "And the worst part of it is...we made him this way. S.T.C. loaded the gun and put me in a situation that I had no choice but to pull the trigger. And now we're all suffering." My guilt was weighing heavier than the core of a neutron star reaching critical mass. "The cherry on top is that everyone is paying the price for my mistake." "Volt, stop burying yourself in guilt and shame." Asriel tried to comforted. "Azzy, I know you mean well but you can't possibly understand what it's like to be him...I sure don't." "Then help me understand! What makes him tick! We have to diffuse him before he does something really desperate!" "How can I do that when I don't understand...?" I was losing hope. "..." Wait a minute...wasn't...something supposed to be happening now? Something...felt like it was right...but it wasn't right.......or it wasn't right...but it was right? Why did that make no sense...but it made sense? What's...going on here? It felt like our conversations were...desynched somehow. There was this incredible feeling of deja-vu. Didn't...we just live this moment? * AEON ALERT. TEMPORAL ANOMALY DETECTED. GENERAL CHRONOMORPHIC REDUNDANCY FAULT IN VGM-098. UNABLE TO VERIFY CORRUPTION. RESUMING TACHYON CIRCUIT * More than that...why was this log mis-numbered? Why did it say 371...instead of 366? Where did five entries come from and why...was I having trouble reading them let alone making them out? It was almost like they were fading in and out of existence...no, blurring...no scrambling like satellite TV during bad weather...no...it was like matrix code. No, that's not right...it's like glitched 8-bit graphics overlapped on top of each other. Now it's like wing-dings. It's just so chaotic-- I suppressed the urge to gasp. No. It couldn't be. It's a little late to say do not adjust your computer...but you are seeing the same events transpire. The same events just before Chaopolis...! "What's...going on...?" Mitzi looked worried. "This is all wrong...all of this...this is all wrong." Gadget was starting to have a panic attack. "Volt...?" Asriel looked at me. And I looked back. "Who is...Fri--" He started. My eyes started to widen as I knew the name he was about to speak. But he didn't get the chance. *GASP* Lady Daimyou sat up suddenly as her eyes snapped open. A grunt nearby...and KOMMAND pulled herself up out of the crevasse....just before it began sealing up. "Wow...watch that first step. "GAHHHH!" Suddenly from above Master Mozzarella dropped to the ground, suddenly reassembling in a cascade of light particles. "WHOAH." Master Acorn suddenly reintegrated like a firework explosion going in reverse. A storm of feathers coiled up out of nowhere from the ground before converging to reform Pit. "We're alive!" Pit gasped. "Then the plan worked?" Master Mozzarella asked. "It did. That lone trump card of yours..." Daimyou looked to KOMMAND. "It saved the timeline without erasing it. Without resetting." "So that was the big gambit. For Violet to cut and paste LYOKO's secret Return To The Past special ability into a program which she sent to Bunnie's Sushi-Chenjaa...which she used the last of her mojikara to execute the program itself...which patched itself to Asriel's pseudo-code. You gave Volt and Asriel the key to your one and only volatile save-point in VGM-098's space-time-continuum." "In so many words." KOMMAND shrugged. "Then it's over? The threat is past? We've won!" Pit asked. "No...no it's not. And no...we didn't win. We lost. We lost bigger than any of us could have imagined." "The Crossover War? For real?" Future Mitzi gasped. "Then everything we fought for was for nothing..." Future Rotor managed to drag himself back in, his strength starting to come back. "No...the battle is lost...but the story goes on." Daimyou narrowed her eyes. "But...the planet is safe. Adonis' bad ending was snatched out of his hands. We get one more chance. On top of that, Chaopolis was booted out of--" "For now. But no. We lost far more than you can imagine. For this reload...is tainted." "...tainted?" "All will become clear very soon..." "Big brother...? I don't...I don't feel so well..." "Gadget!?" I felt the horrors of that line uttered in Infinity War. But Gadget didn't turn to dust...she instead got nauseous and ran to a trash can. I'll omit what happened next. "I see it all now..." Bunnie's horror was realized. And like that...we all had total recall of what transpired. We all remembered where our world's timeline came to an end...and then restarted from LYOKO's quebit marker. Adonis did it. He really did it. It's...horrifying to realize...but in that moment, we all relieved our torture...our deaths...and everything in between. And in that moment we were hit with an infinite amount of anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, shock, and madness all at once. It led us to an undeniable conclusion: we didn't escape a bad ending unscathed. Quite the contrary. With his unholy move that got derailed at the last second...he still accomplished what he set out to do. Make no mistake about it. Adonis won. A tainted victory that tainted us all. There was no wand being waved to make the bad ending go away. There was no movie cliché of everything working out in the end. This really happened. And now the aftershock...the aftermath was coming. And it would be bad. It would be horrific. "Volt.......I...remember everything." I was quiet. Too quiet. Catatonic in my state of horror. "Adonis....he made me...!" Asriel's eyes began to well with tears. "The promise...he made me break the promise...and now I know...now I know what you've been hiding." "Asriel...I'm...so...sorry." "No...nooo...not like this...I would have wanted to know the truth...but not....n-not like this...!" Lady Destiny...Madam Fate...I had one unbreakable condition for all of this.......and...you...you...! "Sensei...you knew." Bunnie nodded once and kept her head down. "Aunt Vi...?" "I...really am I stinker, huh..." Vi had never been at a loss for a funny thing to say. "Even...Mom and Dad knew that someday--" "You know that it's--" "I KNOW that...but...It...just can't...shake what I feel." "Azzy, I didn't mean to hurt--" "No. You didn't. He did. He intended to hurt us with the worst thing he could hurt us with." I was watching Goat Son be emotionally, mentally, and spiritually destroyed. It was too much. It wouldn’t stop. "Azzy--" "I think I should go. I...have a lot to think about...and regret..." Asriel just walked away. That was how I knew. That was how I knew that Adonis had broken him. Completely broken him. "I...have a mess to clean up. Excuse me." Mitzi went back inside Rock-Afire Pizzeria. "Big brother...I'm going home to bed..." Gadget left next. Violet finally threw her phone down, shattering it. "Screw this crap..." I looked Bunnie in the eyes. "..." And with that she stood up...stepped back...and threw down a Deku Nut and disappeared in a flash. "No...no this isn't happening..." I clutched my head with cringed fingers like I had a bad case of dandruff. "How...how did we win against him...and STILL LOSE!?" I wasn't asking the question because I didn't know the answer...I was asking the question because I DID know the answer. "You...you..." I slowly rose to my feet as the square had managed to empty out with a lot of people having the same idea as us...feeling a lot less up to being out and about. "ADONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I raged to the sky. And that was the end of that. Sub-Entry 372: "Aftermath of War. We're All Broken With Regrets" After that day...I didn't see Asriel again. According to Scott and Callie, he hadn't left his room. He just sat in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest...and crying softly. The same state I found him in going on 9 years ago. All that progress. All that trust. All that I had ever worked for...and...that....that MANIAC took it from me. He ruined everything. And he thought it was just a joke! Asriel took the worst of it. But he wasn't the only one who Adonis had royally screwed. Bunnie was now up to the 163rd attempt to meditate under the waterfall. But all she could see when she closed her eyes was...that horror. "Ancestors...be with me...be with me..." There was no doubt she was channeling Rey at her darkest moment against the Emperor...reaching out to the 1,000 Jedi that had come before. Only it looked like making contact was something she wouldn't be able to do. Her balance was all wrong. Everything was all wrong. "What is pure is now impure...what is impure is now pure." Bunnie recited the words that she had been passed down from the Priestess, Kikio. Unlike Kikio, she still drew breath. But I suppose this only created the first link in the chain. Besides Bunnie's very equilibrium...it also had damaged friendships. Violet hadn't gone to see her...and she hadn't gone to see Violet in a while now. It was beyond personal and was no affecting them professionally. "Al Dente...if I thought I could actually get Queen Brooke to listen to me, I'd have her deport you right now. Take that as a warning that I am in NO mood for your crap and I am NOT about to pay one iota of attention to your pleas to come back home." And where Violet wasn't in a mood for much around Bunnie and me...it meant she wasn't up for hanging with Team Acorn, either. Sally tore up the tabloid that read in big bold letters "TEAM ACORN WASHES OUT! Six months before the season, the trio implodes!" Her calls to Willie and Honey went straight to voice mail. Lupe wouldn't leave the nature preserve. The animals were all starting to worry for her...the ones that weren't in hibernation. Rotor was beginning to pack for South Plumbington. Scapelli and his lawyers were primed to eat him alive. And the news got worse from there. The rumors of his father dying in prison were starting to seem greatly exaggerated and rumors that he was about to be released...only made things worse. I couldn't get a word edgewise out of my staff. They looked at me accusingly...like they knew this was my fault. Wait...was it my fault? Adonis was the sum of my decisions but...he had a mind of his own...he was-- It was bad when I was second-guessing when I should and shouldn't accept the blame. Did I do enough to protect my home planet from that psychopath? Did I fail? Was this...really on me? Why did I feel so alienated at that moment? No...no, I've already gone through this crap before! I didn't deserve this! I DIDN'T! I've accepted too much blame as it is. I've been buried under my sin for long enough. I made mistakes. I tried to correct them. This is...just a chance for me to correct this one...right? Right....? I pondered my next move...I decided...maybe if it was too hot to handle in town...maybe it was best I get out of town...and check in on the Underground. "..." So why did I feel so guilty doing it? Maybe it was because...now Asriel knew about it. And he didn't have to ask me questions about it...his mind now shared memories with me. And I shared memories with him. Things about his past that answered a lot...and made me sorry I was now privy to them. And things about my past that he'd be sorry he did learn. With Asriel still a no-show after that day...I figured...what does it matter. Who'd stop me?" I'd fortunately kept the Delorean and the Time Train here in Miranda City instead of in the X-Vault. And with the role-back of our timeline, they were completely intact as if nothing had ever happened. So...I took the Delorean to Ebott again. And I immediately went to see Dr. Alphys. "Dr. Arcade! Th-thank goodness! I was worried a-after Lady Toriel w-w-went missing and I--" Alphys stopped in mid-sentence. "Doctor?" I hadn't raised my head since entering the doorway...and I hadn't completely entered the lab, yet. "Is...something wrong...?" I raised my head, eyes full of tears. "......everything...." On long, detailed explanation later. "Oh m-m-my g-g-g-g-g-god...!" Alphys looked at in horror. "Alphys...I don't know what to do." What's worse...I could feel Alphys' confidence slipping away. I knew she was too polite to say what she really wanted to say...that all the Monsters' Hopes and Dreams were riding on my plan...but now with all this happening...was the plan in danger? Technically...no. I wound Frisk up with Determination and turned her loose. The Underground was in her hands. My end of the deal was Prince Asriel. And I let that deal be broken. In a way I think she felt that everyone's happy ending was threatened. Yet, to say it outright...that would be selfish. How could the Monsters think of themselves when... ...when... ....they couldn't even know. They couldn't even know what we'd gone through. I only had one real shoulder to lean on that I could fully trust. "Alphys, please don't soften the blows. I know I screwed up." "But w-what could you d-do? This enemy of yours has been t-t-terrorizing us, too. We've been at his mercy. We w-wouldn't even have made it this far if you hadn't been around to undo the damage he caused. We wouldn't have been able to diffuse the First Fallen's horrible plan!" "Yeah...but look what happened when I tried to bring you all together. Mettaton flaked out, Toriel and Undyne were at each other's throats, Papyrus was...well...being Papyrus. And Sans...? If I had known the game would have become unbalanced, anyway because of Adonis killing the First-Fallen--" "N-no. I understand why you did what you did. And on s-some level, S-S-Sans does as well." Alphys was doing her best to comfort me but...she was feeling like she needed comforting, too.. Her worries were building up inside and she wasn't about to panic and take it out on me why things were going horribly wrong. "Alphys...how do I help him?" Eight years. Eight years of this undone. A decade of work torn apart. "C'mon...y-you d-don't think you're n-n-not giving him enough c-credit? I mean...I h-haven't met him b-b-b-but I feel like he's m-made of stronger s-stuff than that." "You're probably right, Alphys. If you saw him, though...you'd understand--" "That he's feeling what a lot of us are feeling in the underground. Disappearing hope...broken dreams...no reason to go on...and no real person to blame. It's too easy to blame the humans...I've heard Undyne go on about it for hours. Asgore is s-s-so conflicted that it's tearing him apart...and Sans...? Does he believe in a-anything anymore?" Alphys was more in the know about everyone that I'd thought. "At least that's one thing I got going for me." My ears drooped. "The relationships I've formed here in Undertale." "Still...not used to hearing this world being referred to as a weird video game." "This world isn't even the weirdest, most meta place I've been to. And right now all I've got motivating me is the dwindling belief that I'll be able to take you off of this rock and...see the Universe." Alphys offered me a ramen noodle cup. I accepted to be polite. Really...these things were ungodly unhealthy. The salt and M.S.G. alone... "Just so many days ago, I was beside myself feeling like I was chasing a dream to get us to the surface... Now...I've learned there's a whole solar system...a whole galaxy...a whole universe.......countless universes out there...and I don't know if we'll ever get to see them." "Impossible is only a word we've created to rationalize when we don't have the motivation to attempt something. It sets a limit...ironically one of the things my organization is charged with doing. I've had...a history of setting boundaries and limits...and going along with it because the law had said this is how it has to be.. Ironically enough, I’ve created an immortal enemy who seeks to tear those limits down but not for any noble reason. Just for the purpose of establishing complete and total multi-versal anarchy." "Even when beaten down...you give good cowboy speeches." Alphys managed to lose the stutter for a bit. "For all the good they've done my crew." I looked down at my cup of noodles. "Alphys, I came here for advice but I feel like I've only brought bad news and complications." "Volt...don't sell yourself short. We're all a little broken with regrets." Alphys looked over at her computer screen with a wire-frame diagram of Flowey. "You still feel like...when you meet the Prince, he's going to have nothing but a grudge to hold against you. Especially now that the truth has come out." "Even though I know he's not the same Prince Asriel...I still feel so much guilt...I did this to his counterpart...to Flowey...and I know Flowey will never forgive me." "But he...might." One thing I was withholding was Asriel's fate...their Asriel's fate. I implied that he could come back...but not once did I indicate that he'd be able to stay. Nor did I indicate what would become of him when he became the flower again. "I think...it's best that I not know any more than I absolutely need to. Papyrus is going to bring everyone together at the Barrier...I understand that much. But I understand...things have to happen before they get better. Not quite sure what it is that has to happen but...I feel like it involves a big sacrifice." "You're right, Alphys. You shouldn't know too much about your own future. Or anyone else's. Just that they have a future--" I stopped short. That was the one thing I'd missed. And one thing I could hold onto. While my crew was shattered and my world was going to Hell because of Adonis...the fact was we all still HAD a future. One we could shape once we got our heads on straight. This was all uplifting. I sighed. "..." But the fact remained...even after this talk...I didn't have my head on straight any more than the rest of town did. "Thanks for your time, Alphys." "I'm...sorry I didn't help m-much." "Give everyone my best...and my apologies but...we're...all going to be indisposed for a bit. Just let them know...we have complications to work through before we can even think of visiting anyone again. It's nothing that anyone can help with." "I'll...I'll d-d-do what I c-c-c-can." This time...Alphys hugged me. "If there's anything worthwhile that came out of its...it's meeting all of you. You are...my last lifeline of sanity in this black Hell." "Try to hang on...and...s-s-s-stay d-determined." Heh. If only it were that simple. Sub-Entry 373: "Nothing Matters. Nothing Makes Sense. Nothing Can Heal This": I'd visit every one of them--my crew that is--in the days that followed. But none were receptive to me. Lukewarm responses. Some barely said hello. Surely...they didn't blame me for this? Oh gods...it was just like the Pico-Drive Virus in the Interceptors all over again. Only this time it wasn't an act. This time was real. And this time Adonis really broke apart our bonds. Rabbotou Dojo. No classes in session. The doors were closed. Megami shook her head when I was about to ask if Bunnie wanted to talk. I left without saying a word. Computer Valhalla. Doorbell was offline. The doors didn't open, either. The neon signs and display were ominously dark. "Goddammit. You too, Vi?" Walrus Brothers Plumbing Service and Supply? I could see Rotor, inside but he wasn't giving any sign the building was open for business. Skeeter wasn't around, either. I'd later learn that he had been grounded for mouthing off. I didn't press Rotor to ask about what and why. Rock-Afire Pizzeria was still in shambles. Mitzi wouldn't come downstairs from her residence despite how many times I called up the stairwell. Her co-workers weren't on duty, either. I spied the "Under New Management" sign on the cracked glass as well as the poster that said "Coming Soon: Chuck E. Cheese's." I angrily tore both off and ripped them up and let the pieces scatter. Then I got out of there before I could get ticketed for littering. Gadget went back home to Neo Arcadia to spent time with Odie for a few days. I didn't stand in her way. Hopefully he could comfort her but...Odie wasn't exactly known for an emotional touch. I might as well as Mr. Spock. All over town I was seeing anger, arguing, yelling, screaming, and people at each other’s throats. Mostly divided between those who could remember what happened before the Return To The Past...and those who couldn't. "JEEZE, WILL YOU WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!?" I sighed as I watched the person in crutches almost get run down. Then I saw Hyperion arguing with a guy over a parking ticket who was about to punch his lights out. I then realized...this was like a reenactment of the moments leading up to Dana Berret's baby carriage taking off on its own and nearly putting baby Oscar in the path of a speeding bus. It was freakin' New York City in the opening scene of Ghostbusters II and now there were over 3 million completely miserable a-holes in the kingdom alone. "Why the HELL is this happening!?" I growled. I knew why. It was because that there were consequences. There was no sudden happily ever after once the world had been saved thanks to Violet, Bunnie's, and my desperate gambit; that ace in the hole that we probably could never use again. After all the crap that Sans and I both had for the evils of the RESET...what did we go and do? We loaded our timeline from an earlier point. The difference was we had kicked Adonis and Chaopolis out of it. But only temporarily. Which means that his attempt to destroy our world had gotten overwritten. What was stopping him from just...coming back and doing it all over again? Him. He was stopping it. He wouldn't do so because it wouldn't be unexpected. It wouldn't be arbitrary. It wouldn't be pure chaos. It would just be a repeat performance. It would just be Dr. Wily trying to take over the world for the 12th time. Unlike me...when he screwed up a plan? He didn't try again. He'd punish the one who gave him the plan then steal a new plan from the next in line who was foolish enough to volunteer one. I slugged a brick wall in an alley when no one was looking. "Never again." I hissed. There was no easy fix. There was no shortcut. There was no wands to be waved, no wish to a genie, no miracle to be had. This was real. These were permanent consequences. This was what it was--the bad guys won. They won even without destroying the world, without those casualties being set in stone, without any visible evidence that they'd even BEEN to our world. The mark they left on us couldn't be seen...only felt. And it felt like Hell. Our own personal Hell. I had gone to Alphys. Why didn't this make me feel better? Why didn't this help? Somebody had to stay strong in all this? Why was it me? Why was it always me?! Why did everyone turn to me when things were......stop it, Volt. Get a grip. You're the leader. That's why. I was going back and forth in my own head between motivating myself...and dissuading myself...pumping myself up to take action...and admonishing myself for failing to take action. I was in a programming loop, honestly. I was kicking my own arse...and letting everyone else kick it too. How did I think I was going to recover if I was willing to take it from both ends? I tried coming up with a plan of what to do next. But it all came back to retaliation. And now it couldn't be retaliation with inclusion because nobody wanted any part of this. Not while they looked at me like I was the bad guy. This was the Pico-Drive Virus all over again. I was being crapped on! I was being crapped on, damn it! And you know what the worst thing is... Hey! Where are you going! I know you're not closing this journal entry in disgust! Okay, I'm sorry! I didn't mean to lash out at whoever's reading this. We're cool, right? Right? "You've got to stop this, Volt. You're getting meta again. You're not Deadpool so stop with the fourth wall crap." Also it didn't help that I was re-enacting that scene from Wayne's World. Sorry about that. Ahem...where was I? Gods, I was really messed up if this is what I'm writing in these logs. So...yeah...every plan was falling apart before I could put it together. I'm out of ideas. I'm out of options. I'm running out of friends to turn to. I'm just...running out of everything...even sanity. Nothing makes sense any more. Nothing at all. Maybe...what I shouldn't be doing is trying to apply logic to this...maybe it was time I acted on instinct...on how I felt. What was it I wanted more than anything at this moment? Accountability. I guess that's a pretty good sized spring board into revenge. Bunnie always had nothing but scorn for revenge. But wouldn't she also agree this was a great injustice? Somebody was getting away with this. Somebody would do this again. Somebody had to be stopped. In my anguished stupor, I had almost given up out of frustration...when it came to me. There was someone who could be held responsible. Feasibly? No. Possible? Yes. It was something that had been boiling over for as long as I had this damn contract tied to me. This White Knight burden was a raw deal. And now this deal burned my family, my friends, my everything. The charred remains that still stood demanded justice. It made no sense. Nothing made sense. But I was still going to do it...I was going to do...that... it was desperate. It was self-defeating. It carried far more risk than reward...if any reward. There was no turning back if I did. And the consequences would only make things go from worse to unspeakably unforgivable. I'd never win back the people who trusted me up to this point. But I think it was time I paid a visit to the one place I'd never been to. Back. To. The. Source. Sub-Entry 374: "In Light of My Rage, I Seek to Punish a Goddess": "...THE LAST LINE HAS BEEN BREACHED! SECURITY FORCES HAVE FALLEN ALL OVER THE QUASAR PYRAMID! SUBJECT IS HEADING STRAIGHT TO THE CHAMBERS!" "STOP HIM! STOP HIM AT ALL COSTS!" "THERE'S JUST NO REASONING WITH THIS GUY! HE'S CRAZY!!!" "SOMEONE CONTACT THE COUNCIL!" It would do no good even though this made their day. "...he finally did it." "He's finished. There's no going back from this." "Daimyou! I implore you! Let us personally--" Daimyou shoved the Councilman back. "Denied." "How long are you going to turn a blind eye to this!" "This is a personal matter. Do not interfere." "Interfering is the one thing we SHOULD be doing! This is TREASON! He's going to endanger us all! Our--" "Do not speak of your contracts so casually. You only wish to continue on as you are. From the overwhelming failings that the Council allowed to happen that led to this? Perhaps losing our immortality is merely justice for all that we have ignored." "How can you say that?!" "Mind your tone and learn your place." Daimyou pressed the flat edge of the sword to the Councilman's neck. "If I use the sharp edge of the blade, you may not expire from it, but you'll wish you had. Do not defy me." "Y..yes, Lady Daimyou." Daimyou looked toward the hallway of mass destruction and the beaten and unconscious guards. "Do what you must...but do not make a habit of it. You are not a thug. But you are right. Even a Goddess should be accountable for their own matters." The last elite guard crumpled to the ground. And I was completely undeterred from my path. Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing was worth it. Nothing could make things right. There was just one thing left. Only one that made even the tiniest bit of sense to me. it was the only thing giving me semblance of clarity of thought...and by gods...just saying it out loud was as insane as actually carrying out the act of it. The towering gates at the end of the longest of halls stood before me once I reached the top step. It was as bright as the Barrier. It was gold but lit up so bright it might as well be the pure white. Bright as a supernova and too pure for mortals to tread upon. But I wasn't about to tread upon it...no...I was about to...! My knuckles on each hand cracked as I forged a path of tightly packed electromagnetic rings from my position to the doors. I amassed the sum of a cosmic storm, a pulsar, and a supernova in equivalent electromagnetic energy, straining my contract as far as I dared go. Honestly I didn't know if I could completely breach it. And I didn't care. I wound myself up...primed my slingshot and let the electromagnetic rail effect do the dirty work as I tore through space in the form of the greatest of lightning bolts, fist outstretched. As I did, I let out the loudest, lung-straining-est, voice-killing-est bellow of solid rage I'd ever mustered in my entire life as completely tore the doors off their hinges, burst into the room and continued my path toward my target...my target that saw me coming but only maintained that smug evil smirk and stood her ground. In the raw microseconds that transpired next, my fist made contact with her face. There was a ripple through time and space and a spherical blast wave for the briefest of moments...before her head whiplashed...and she went sailing into the far wall all the way in back of the room. She impacted for a moment, at first mere cracks webbing around her as she spread her arms out in a crucifixion pose just to mock me......moments before the whole wall buckled into a 100-foot impact crater...one that was very SKULL SHAPED, with its victim soundly plastered into the nasal cavity. To the side, her sister covered her mouth in horror and shock...and tears. Tears of guilt and shame not of shock and horror of her sister being struck. Madam Fate remained there, motionless, with that sickening, smug , wide-eyed grin...before the cackle began and erupted into laughter. "Feel that?" I stood there, huffing, my pulped fist starting to reconstitute. "That's called PAIN. And there's a lot more of it that you're owed. It's not even a fraction of what you caused. But for the love of all that is holy, you'll never comprehend it. This is me taking a stand. This is me telling you, you didn't just cross the line...you danced on it before continuing to run past it while never looking back." "My my...such spirited words...you are an interesting white knight. Truly you have made this a script to behold." "Is that all you have to say?!" "Volt...!" Lady Destiny started to protest. I was in too much of a rage to describe either of the ethereal goddesses. Not that I'd want to. Not that I'd have the capacity to. How do you describe something this high up in evolution but...somehow still able to be punched into oblivion. "SAVE IT!" I snapped. "You had one thing NOT to do. And you did it anyway. Why? For the LULZ. For the fun of it. For your stupid game to go on. Just because you couldn't stand to lose another one." The most obvious counter to that she'd have to that was that she never actually lost one She'd always start up another new game on some new world to complicate the already "Ultimate" game of good and evil. "And where would you be if you hadn't been pushed over the edge? Stagnation is truly an ugly thing. We must have change. We must evolve." "This...isn't...evolution. This is GENOCIDE!" "Your world hasn't died...well...it hasn't STAYED dead, rather." "But you did try to kill it." "Do you not blame the wrong person? The Black Knight does as he desires. I had no say in what he does." "BULLSH--" "No need to be vulgar. A knight NEEDS to be challenged. Adonis was right about many things but one thing we do have consensus on is that chaos is DYNAMIC. It can't be allow to be in this...state of rest. This state of rest you call peace. It has to provoke and upset the status quo." "Is that how you see it?!" "Come now, Doctor. It is...only a game." "ONLY A GAME?!?!" I roared. "PEOPLES LIVES END AND YOU TOSS THEM AWAY AS CHESS PIECES ONLY TO RESET NEW ONES IN THEIR PLACE AND THEN KNOCK THEM DOWN AGAIN!?!" I knew what she was doing. I knew she saw herself above good and evil. I knew what she was trying to get me to do. "You're not going to get me to rage quit this. I will not surrender this so you can have an easy victory." "I have asked you for no such thing. After all, you are not my knight. I cannot attack you directly but...you seem to have attacked me rather unprovoked." "UN...PRO...VOKED?!?" My blood was beyond boiling. A normal person should have had a stroke or passed out. "DO NO THREATEN ME WITH ATTACKING A GODDESS! YOU TWO ARE THE GAME MASTERS OF THIS...SICK TWISTED GAME OF YOURS AND YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT HAPPENS IN IT!" I don't know if that was true anymore. I honestly felt like I didn't know anything. At this point there was nothing I could think of that I could do that could EVER even the score with Madam Fate. There was only one thing that could get to her and at this point...it was a long shot. "Mark my words...you'll be the one who rage-quits this game." "That's it...that's the Determination I'm looking for..." "You WILL leave my family and friends and my world and my allies alone. If you EVER try to make another Universal City happen again...you're not going to like where this game goes next. I promise you...I will make this game as not fun for you as it is for me." The grin widened even bigger and her eyes widened even more unhealthy and the cackling continued. "Do not test me, Fate. I dared to slug you. And that's the very least of what you deserve." I walked past Lady Destiny...and visibly turned my back on her. "If I were a lesser man, I'd quit you and your contract right now. But I will NEVER let you forget that you let me down....for the SECOND TIME." And then she buried her face in her hands and cried. I walked out. "What have you done, sister...?" Lady Destiny had dropped to her knees and hung her head in shame, weeping. "I have made this game so very interesting. This is my masterpiece!" "He's right...you don't see this as anything but a game." "Why should I? Games were meant to be played. Game pieces were meant to be played with." "We have to be accountable, sister." "Don't get self-righteous on me. You're as stained with their blood as I am. The only problem you have is that you let it get to you. Goddesses are above the consequences. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can actually have fun with this game." "After all that holier-than-thou talk to spouted at Volt Arcade...now you're talking to me as a mortal?" "Get over yourself." "You just can't stop changing the rules. Not only the ones of the game but the ones dictating who you are. I don't know you anymore, sister. I can't do anything to even phase you." "And that is what freedom is. Freedom is chaos. And chaos is fair. Just as Adonis said. You know there are two other thing that are fair. Birth. And death. The moment mortals are all equal." "What are you trying to prove?!" "I've already proven it. Now. Are you going to get up off of the floor and get back to playing the game? After all...the game is everything. And it decides the fate of the universe...of EVERY universe." "You're overstepping your bounds again. What would the Makers of the other universes outside of the UltraVerse say if they knew you were trying to press into their territory. Did we not already stir up a hornets nest with Universal City." That convinced Fate to pull herself free and land with a thundering shockwave. "Won't let that go. Will you? It's getting annoying for you to keep bringing up." "You crossed the line! You went out of bounds! Those universes are not our game boards. You had no right to let Adonis do what he did, much less give him the idea to do it in the first place! You trespassed in Universal City and you nearly trespassed in--" "Blah blah blaaaaaah. Don't tell me you're going to bring up HIS universe, next? The Triumvirate of Dimensions is in the past. It's gone and their fellowship broken. It's the reason why your White Knight has never gone back to visit the other surviving of the triad." "Make no mistake. His universe is off limits. You make a move on it, and the Ancients will not let it slide again. The Chosen WILL come to our universe and personally hold you accountable. And he'll have his own Makers behind him. Just as Arcade has me behind him." "Yes...off limits...just as hers was. Yes...you will stand with him against me...because you've seen how well standing against your own sister has worked out in the past." "Tch...!" "Sit down. And get back to the game. And watch the script unfold. And I guarantee you won't be bored." Fate tented her hands. "My Black Knight is going to make his grand return sooner than you think." By now I was descending the staircase back through the gates at the bottom. The entirety of the STC barracks were crowded around and aiming their weapons at me. But once again, Daimyou made her appearance and ordered them to stand down, reminding her who she was. "So. You did what you had to do." "In the name of peace and sanity." I quoted the War Doctor again. "You never could use your own words." "I have no regrets from what I've done and said." "As you should not." "Daimyou...I punched one of the two primordial forces of our universe into a wall and threatened her. I don't think I can sink any lower." "Then rise. Rise from where you stand. Rise up and take back what was ours. Take back what was his. Take back what was yours." "Was? It never left our possession, try as he might. It was never his to take. I'm going to end him and his game. By any means necessary." "Be mindful of how you put it. Do not become the beast to fight the beast." "I'm already at that level. I don't think I can do much worse." "Then my prayers are with you. Please...for his sake." "This is all for him. I'm not losing my best friend. Not again." Daimyou nodded and allowed me safe passage back to whence I came. The Council fumed as they watched from their room. There was an ominous dead silence among every personnel member in the entire organization. Those were for me...those who were against me...those who were indifferent. I'd made a statement. And what a statement. How...do you honestly rationalize literally punching a deity into a wall? Sub-Entry 375: "We Begin to Recover, We Begin to Rebuild, We Begin to Forgive": From the moment I had punched out Madam Fate, a paradigm shift began in the UltraVerse. It was...almost like a sign that the climax had come and gone and the balance between good and evil was shifting again. It was like the universe remembered how to forgive even if it couldn't forget. And I began to notice once I made it back to town. "Commander." Bunnie was standing right in front of me as I left the portal. "Major." An awkward silence. "I...was thinking about checking in on Violet. You...in?" Normally, the thought of setting foot in Computer Valhalla would set me off...but...for some reason...it felt like I NEEDED it. "...yeah. I think she could use some friends right about now." And thus began what I would call...the chain reaction effect. One by one, each of us would inspire the next. While Bunnie and I made the first move with Violet, arguably it began with Lupe. "I see you have...made a friend." Lupe sat down and watched Antoine pet the coyote. "Doing zee...'anging out with my own kind eez what a loser deserves." "Are you not being too hard on yourself?" "It is only fair. I am a terr-ee-bley burden on all of you." "Your heart is in the right place even if your head isn't. "All too true. I am...just not the best of luck charms...am I not?" "I'm...still glad you're our bad luck charm. You can't help but be who you are." "If you are...needing a shoulder to lean on...?" "Antoine...thank you for being a friend. At the very least...trying to be a friend." And like that...Lupe began her own healing process as Antoine began his. For Sally...it went to Antoine. And frankly...it was long overdue. Sally walked over and had a seat next to him. "Oh...I am being zee sorry. I will go." "No. Stay." "Very well. I will be doing zee staying." "Antoine....we've never been on good terms. That's putting it lightly. You know... a lot of girls would go for your romanticism and goofy accent but....all I could feel like was I was having a wet sponge draped over me." "Zis eez...zee apology, no?" "Not a very good one....sorry about that." "I am being zee used to it." "Antoine...all of us...especially me have spent our lives being unfair to you. I want to make it right." "My princess?" "I'll give you that one. But for future reference, I'm not a princess any more. I'm just me. Sally Acorn." "I will...do better." "Just do you, Ant. Just do you." "Oui. I will be as myself and I." "So...heard you tried to stand up to Adonis. You didn't have a chance but you still faced him like a man." "I was having nothing to lose but my own life. I must be eliminating zis dreadful stereotype about my people surrendering and retreating at zee' first sight of danger, no?" "Heh. Work on speaking with a forked tongue and you'll be almost tolerable." Deer-in-headlights. "That was a joke. A bad one at that." "Oh. You are being zee forgiven." "Antoine, you have impossibly high standards that you keep trying to live up to. That you keep falling so very short of. it takes a special kind to make that much effort to be great." "Should I...try less...?" "No! Keep doing what you're doing. I mean you can only fail so many times before you have a victory, right?" "Zat eez...true...eet 'as to be." "Well...this has been the most lopsided of apologizes so...I guess if words aren't going to cut it...maybe action will." Sally leaned over and kissed Antoine on the cheek. That made his eyes bug out and his jaw drop; his mouth a gaping hole in surprise. After a few moments he put his hand to his cheek...before swooning. "If you say you'll never wash your face again, I'm going to hit you. It's charming but it's really gross and not a practice of good hygiene. You of all people should know." "Yes, my princess...Sally." "You're doing better." Sally would be there for Team Acorn. But then she'd bring the healing to Chameleon's doorstep while Lupe dropped in on Cid Padesh and Tina. Our allies might as well know we were thinking of them. Antoine then brought the healing to Rotor. "I am...'ow you zay...not zee best friend in zee world, no?" "Understatement." Rotor was grumping pretty hard. "I am be deserving zat. And..je suis désolé. Um...how you zay--" "Yeah. You're sorry. I kind figured that out from the context even though I still don't speak your language." "Zee princess...Sally, I mean...she 'as er...covered up zee axe with zee' dirt?" "You mean buried the hatchet with you. I guess..it was bound to happen sooner or later. Sally's...not one to hold onto a grudge...a real one. Not even with you." "Eet was...'ard geev-eeng up zee duty I 'ave spent zo much of my life to be upholding. I know no other life but 'zat of a royal guard to being." "Trust me. I get where you're coming from. There's no harsher cruelty than being told to or forced to give up on your dreams." "But Ro-tair...you are being zee far more successful than I. You 'ave a bro-zair and zee family business. I am 'aving no family of my own...mon père et ma mère...puissent-ils reposer en paix. "Antoine...you're getting me misty-eyed reminding me about your folks. I can't imagine what it's like being an only child. I mean...who do you have in your life but Asriel? He's...kind of a disciple to you...at the very least he's looking out for you. "You have zee great disciple, no? "Gadget? Yeah...I guess she's a great student. And...you're right. I have Skeeter and...well, Scapelli hasn't taken our business, yet." "I do not wish to be 'zee moocher...your terr-ee-bley burden." "Ant, come on. Don't get me all worked up over this. Isn't it our job to be hard on you? I mean what's the world coming to when you're hard on you? You've always had that unshakeable confidence." "Merely...zee bluster. I, Antoine D'Cooliette, must admit...eet is all zee show...to cover up 'zat I am the empty inside...that I have to put on zee airs or I will...I will be zee crumbling like zee baguette trampled underfoot." "I...can't say I had no idea but...I feel like it's something I just ignored. All of us have. I never realized it but...you really are the bravest warrior, Antoine." "Merci...merci boucoup, mon amie." Try as I might to get through to Gadget...it was Rotor who finally got her to smile again. "I was proud to be the understudy of the Minister of Science. It let me stay close friends with our mutual acquaintance." Gadget looked up where she was hugging her knees to her chest like Asriel used to do. "I know I downplay it a lot but...it's only because of how much I've been humbled over the years. Son...er.....that guy and I were tight. We were best friends until Miles was born. I mean I didn't take offense or feel shoved out or anything. The little guy just needed more attention than I did. I was always a good sport about it." "It must've been nice." "Yeah, I watched from the sidelines until Skeeter was born then...then I really understood what the hub-bub was about." "Having...a brother was the best feeling in the world for me. I don’t' remember much as a lab mouse, but...I can never forget that feeling." "It stays with you. And it can't be broken. Especially by a punk like Luwhiney." Gadget's expression faded a little at the name being brought up. "Hey. We'll all stand with you. Promise." Rotor handed over a new inlet valve mechanism from a toilet repair kit. He figured Gadget could retrofit it into some other purpose. Gadget nodded, sadly. "Hey. I have some extra peanut-butter cups. Want to share?" "Yeah...I'd like that." Rotor patted Gadget's head. "You're a good kid, Gadget. Even though you're not a kid anymore." "I...I try to be. I...just never wanted to be a brat to anyone." "Oh, you've never been a brat. You're almost too good to be true. Your brother's so lucky." "Rotor...?" "Yes?" "I'm going to have to face her again...aren't I?" "I can't see the future, Gadget. But just know...second chances at anything are worth attempting. If you can't get through her...at least make sure she can't hurt anyone else." "I'll do that." Once Gadget was herself again, she went to Mitzi. "Miss Mitzi?" "Hmm? Oh. Hey, Gadget." Mitzi's business was at an all-time low. "Umm...can I get a couple slices of cheese pizza?" A lengthy pause. "Sure." Mitzi got to work. "You know what I miss? The Michael Jackson songs you used to have playing on the juke box." Mitzi sighed and looked at the wall where her framed picture of Michael Jackson's autograph hung. The glass was badly cracked from where Pasqually and Jasper had trashed her shop. She hadn't gotten the heart to replace the glass...but at least the paper underneath had survived. "It's a free country. No one said you couldn't play music." Mitzi kept working. Gadget hopped off the bar stool and used her own service key to open up the machine and put in some credits. Mitzi didn't mind. Gadget was always someone she'd let play songs for free. Gadget queued up about ten songs and let the juke box work its magic. "So...did you really kick him in the naughty parts?" Mitzi let a small laugh slip out. "Gadget! That's a little low brow to be talking about." "I'm not a kid anymore, Mitzi. Just because big brother shields me from the NSFW stuff, doesn't mean I'm not aware of it." "What made you bring up such a thing?" "You...seemed like you could use some happy memories." "Well...it wasn't exactly happy...but...confidentially? It was satisfying." And from there the girl-talk had an easy jump-start and went for a pretty long time. I think little sister was going to be okay. She was going to work past this. And now Mitzi was on her way to recovery. From there, Mitzi went to Hestia to give advice to her idol while Gadget popped in on Kid the Cat. I understand that Adonis' mages had found his weakness and used it to essentially dissolve him from the magic plane. of course he remembered it happening so...he was all to glad to have Gadget help him through the experience...which didn't take all but two to five minutes before he was pondering the path of the water that went down the drain when a toilet was flushed. Never change, Kid. You're awesome the way you are and my little sister likes that most about you. Mitzi's talk with Hestia ended up splitting from there as Hestia oddly enough talked to Cid Padesh. Cid ended up spreading the comfort to Alistair. Alistair talked to Marcel. Marcel chatted with Chameleon. Chameleon buried the hatchet with Violet. Violet patched things up with Bunnie. Bunnie visited Queen Brooke who would go on to restore semblance of civility to Jaimas as well as rekindle the alliance between Miranda and Raxis. Violet would talk to Bunnie who called for all of the Ecotropians to have a pow-wow and round of apologies and pledges to reforge broken bonds. From there, it spider-webbed, crisscrossing acquaintances, colleagues, family, even total strangers. And finally Bunnie dropped in on Brooke. And she needed the sake more than ever. Suffice to say...Brooke's contained anger was a force that went well beyond cosmic level. She would have her vengeance on Chaopolis...and it would not be pretty. But until then...the sake took the edge off. Furthermore she was starting to tolerate certain individuals that irked her nerves. Even the Dragon Council felt a little less..under her thumb. Though they'd NEVER put it that way. Within the month our town was on the mend. The world was on the mend. Maybe it was Fate getting bored with tormenting us while she orchestrated the next big "mischief" in her own words... ...but I can't help but feel like I finally let her know I mean business and I'd fight an uphill or even a losing battle to never let happen when she let happen to us. Either way. We were on the up-swing. Things were starting to look up, but I wasn't about to count my chickens before they hatched. I was determined that not only were we going to be ready for Chaopolis, as soon as we WERE ready, we were going to stick it to them. Or as Violet put it...stick it directly up their candy...um...rear ends. "And that's the bottom line because I said so." Vi crossed her arms...for once not in a kidding tone. She was playing her Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson impression perfectly straight and serious. To the point I'd even say she had...smoldering intensity. Pulling double duty, Violet would talk to Jon at the same time Felicia decided to pay him a visit. It was by far her greatest feat of badgering him and badgering him until he agreed not to return to his cave on the other side of the world. The one he had hidden himself away for so long fearing that humanity needed to be protected from him. "C'mon, you big lug. You're getting a burger that would be banned from those Mega Meal videos on the internet. The ones that pack 10,000 calories into a sausage made from ground up quarter-pounders, pizza, hot dogs and who knows what else they crammed into there." That got a tail wag. The quickest way to Jon's heart was his stomach. Bunnie, at the same time found Pit curled up into a ball, wings wrapped around himself, perched atop the steeple of the Church of Eatos after Sir Alistair's many attempts to coax him down had failed. '"So. I suppose his hair really was quite pimpy. Wouldn't you agree?" Pit looked up in disbelief, completely shocked that Bunnie would say something so callous and out of character. And the door opened from there. "I think I understand, now. " "I heard you went through an ordeal. Want to talk about it?" "I've lived this nightmare before, Major. I...I had my wings torn off by Dr. Masters and Eggplant Wizard while undercover with the others in Fell's Point Asylum. Even if it was...possibly just an illusion or a hallucination...it was real enough to me. And then...during the Third Uprising...my wings burned up trying to save Dark Pit. An angel's wings are their livelihood. Even if mine are...underdeveloped...small and unusable without Lady Palutena's Power of Flight...they're still my lifeline. An angel who loses his wings is as good as dead. And then...and then my nightmare came to pass...Adonis...the Eggplant Wizard...they ripped them from my back...and left me to die...I..." "Trials by fire remind us we're still alive. You draw breath now. Your wings are intact. Do not let the past cloud your vision. We press forward." Pit shuddered a little. "Pit, your loyalty has never diminished." "Just...doing my duty, Major." "It's more than that. This is what you live to do. This is your reason for being. You are truly dedicated to your cause. Your kindness and selflessness is a beacon for all to be drawn to and an example to live by. Come back to us, our loyal scout." The alliances kept reforging. So once Pit was back on board he was all too willing to stand with Gadget, side by side and double-team the next person who needed it most. And we were finally on our way to healing. We were all going to be okay. We were all going to recover... Sub-Entry 376: "But there Was One Who Didn't Bounce Back": ...and yet...one didn't recover. We'd all been hurt bad...but out of all of us...someone had been hurt irreparably. This was...attempt number...12 at least...to try to get through to Asriel. But...nothing but silence from his door. I didn't have to trust my ears and nose...I could tell he was in there and very much alive, despite Vi's dark sense of humor joking otherwise...to which we ALL thwapped her, one after the other. "That. Is. Not. Funny." I growled at her. Violet actually reciprocated. And no. I'm not going to repeat what she said. An awkward silence...then I patted her on the shoulder. "Good attempt though." "Asriel-kun...this isn't healthy. You have to let us back into your life." No response. I could hear him breath...but not much of anything else. "He's been like this for so long." Callista looked worried out of her skull. "I actually had to break the psychic rule to see if there was anything I could do at a mental level...which, goes against my moral code but...as a mother I was desperate--" "Callie. You don't have to explain. We're all worried sick." "Furthermore...you have total recollection as well. You know what kind of trauma the people of this world are reliving." "The lucky ones won't remember. Which only complicates matters. To them, it seems like the whole world's going insane for no reason." I was being surprisingly low-key about my anger, resentment, and rage toward Chaopolis. In a way I'd gotten it out of my system when I slugged Madam Fate. I was no less pissed, but...I was finding it inappropriate to draw upon my rage at this moment. Asriel was lost and alone in his own head. It was the cruelest thing Adonis could have done. He'd reset Asriel all the way back to how I'd found him 18 years ago. That same vacant look...that dead-eyed expression. A look of someone so completely broken they only wished they'd turn to dust. Damn you, Adonis. Damn you to Hell. "That promise between us was everything." I started to tear up. "When I was going to tell him the truth it was going to be on our terms. It was meant to be a special moment. This...this is the worst possible way he could have revealed it to him." "Commander..." "Bunnie, this was the risk I had taken. Even though I knew it could turn out this way, I still took it. What made my choice worth undertaking? What? Not this. Definitely not this." "Do not start doubting your resolve now. There is no way back. There is no undoing the damage. There is only going forward and fixing it. If it took years to bring him back from the brink, then we'll take twice that long...three times that long if necessary to get our goat prince back." "You make it sound so easy. In all likelihood he can hear us." "Then let him. He's a grown adult. He needs to hear that we're not giving up on him." "But the problem is that he's given up on himself." Bunnie shook her head. "Only he can take the first step. We can show him the way. That is all. Nothing more. Nothing less." "Asriel..." I peered through the keyhole. There he was. Not moving. Just sitting before his full-sized mirror, hugging his knees to his chest. Wearing just pants and a jumper that vaguely resembled his old striped shirt. He wasn't even rocking back and forth. He was just sitting there in silence...he wasn't...even crying. "Oh gods...it's worse than before..." I realized that crying was at least something he did as proof that he was alive in Gaster's Void within the space between dimensions...outside of time and space within the heart of the CORE. He was overloaded with secrets I held back. Things I'd seen...things I'd done... But now he was aware of all that Flowey knew and more. He had a complete understanding of what his world was. The fallen children and their souls. The split between Asgore and Toriel...his entire world wasn't just in shambles...its memories had been weaponized by Adonis and their shards stabbed into his heart. He was suffering. He was in pain. He was so overwhelmed by everything all at once that he...couldn't...feel...anything....... That was the realization that made me blanch. It made my ears droop...it was what made me ultimately turn away without a word and walk past Bunnie and Callista....and Scott. "Commander? Commander!?" "Where are you--" After a moment Bunnie put her hand on Callie's shoulder and shook her head. "Let him find his own path. Just as Asriel must find his. And have faith. Have faith their paths will intersect." "It's...all I can do now..." So what was going on inside Asriel's head? Asriel gazed into the mirror; half frustrated glare, half panicked anxiety. His eyes were bloodshot. He stared at his reflection...and Hyperdeath stared back; only in his head, but that was enough. The bitter conversation back and forth called to mind the lyrics of "The Haystack Principle" by the Megas. "How can I...retract these claws?" He looked at his monster claws. He'd always had them. It was honestly like he never noticed them. He'd never used them and I don't think he ever had any accidents injuring himself or others with them. But... "Those are your hands. You can't take back the damage you caused." Hyperdeath retorted. "How can I...take off this...mask?" He uttered, seeing the black markings on his cheeks that weren't really there. "That is your face. You can't remove the fear you cast." Hyperdeath wrinkled his snoot, looking down on the goodie-two-shoes before him. "How can I...turn off this hatred...that fills my eyes?" "You can't shut down where your path lies." By now Asriel was speaking as if he was ten again. "How can I...stop being bad?" "That is who you are!" "If that is who I am...th-then I’ll--" "Stop." Hyperdeath uncrossed his arms and glowered. "This Gary Stu thing has gone on long enough. You've lied to yourself long enough. You've been Mr. Goody-Two-Shoes from the moment he found you. Why? Because you think that acting out even in the slightest degree will put you on the path to--" "No! Don't talk to me about Flowey..." "Yeah. You know all the secrets he was hiding from you." "He...didn't do it to hurt me." "And yet you ARE hurting. Look at what you see in the mirror. Does this look like someone who's happy? Does this look like someone who isn't in pain?" "I..." "When are you going to wise up, Asriel? I'm your future. It is inevitable." "No. That's Adonis talking." "And yet...Adonis has told you more truths in every conversation than Volt has told you in your whole life." "NOOOO! STOP IT! STOP IT! GO AWAAAAY! GO AWAAAAAAY!" "Look at yourself, Asriel. This is just what a loser deserves. You haven't matured. You haven't grown up. You haven't even stopped being a crybaby. Everything is all about your perfect little world. What are you going say when he finally does take you to the other Undertale Timeline. What are you going to say when you meet...them? You know why they're separated. You know that he can't be in your life at the same time she can." "Wh...what does that matter--" "You cheated death...and now would come back for THIS? For a world where you don't get to have a whole biological family? A life that can't be like it was!?" "It's...it's not about what I want! They...they made their choices, I--" "You're privileged teenager, Asriel. Your emotions are on overdrive and everything is self-centered. That's what normal is. And once you're back in their lives your normal goes out the door. You'll cry. You'll bellyache. You'll ask why mommy doesn't love daddy anymore. And when all's said and done...you'll tell one of them how much you hate them for ruining your life...when the reality is you ruined theirs..." Asriel cocked his fist. "Go ahead. DO IT!" Hyperdeath opened his eyes as wide as he could. "No..." Asriel lowered his arm and relaxed his hand. "I'm not that Asriel. I'm not...whichever AU he's from. I'm not a brat. I'm not going to be selfish." "You say that...and yet who's the one who won't let his parents in...his friends in...even his best one." Asriel's eyes welled with tears. "Who are you really afraid to hurt?" Hyperdeath crossed his arms. "Promises were meant to be broken. You're a naive fool the think ANYONE in this day and age can keep on. That's life. That's the cruelty. That's the reality. Suck it up, junior. You're not special." "I...never said...I was..." Asriel sobbed, dropping his head and shifting from hugging his knees to his chest to kneeling down and begging his reflection for forgiveness...like Dr. Wily begging for mercy. "Shut them out if you must. Because keeping it all to yourself worked out so well when Chara made you promise not to say anything about the plan to your own parents." How much longer could Asriel's mind keep delivering low blows? Humility was the word. "The day is coming, Asriel. The day when he no longer needs you. He's going to call it giving you your freedom. How do you really feel about that? How do forgive the man who kidnapped you." "He didn't...he saved me. I was going to die with--" "Were you? How do you know that you wouldn't be safe with W. D. Gaster? How do you know that the timeline wouldn't touch what's outside of time and space?" That was a good question. How did I not consider that? How did I not see this could be a major plot hole in my plan. But...I didn't know he WOULD be safe in the Void, either. And was I really okay with letting Gaster ignore him for the rest of eternity!? "You couldn't think of anything to say to that. And now you're going to wallow in self-pity. Well. Stay there until you starve to death. Dying and paying for your sins is what you wanted, anyway. You said it yourself. Bad kids don't deserve mercy. They deserve to turn to dust. And that's something you can't even do anymore. Because you're not one of the Monsters anymore. You're one of them. When you die...you'll rot. You'll decay. It'll be centuries before your remains turn to dust...bones and all." From that moment...Asriel clammed up. He was tired of arguing with himself. Tired of being wrong. Tired of betraying and being betrayed. Just...so...tired. So was I okay with what Hyperdeath had laid down? Hell, no! I was NOT okay with it. I was NOT letting him be just a footnote in history. The trigger that kicked off Asgore's war against the fallen children Toriel's abandonment. I was not okay with his world just dying and the memory of him just fading away only for the next Timeline to repeat what EVERY damn timeline had done before it. Death after death after death, with each time him coming back as that...that flower! The cycle had to end. He. Deserved. Happiness. He. Deserved. A future. He. Deserved. Mercy. He. Deserved. Chara's. Forgiveness. End of discussion. My mind was made up. I was getting my best friend back. Sub-Entry 377: "Trying to Make it Just Like Old Times": (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) . . . Sub-Entry 378: "Ip-kiss Sadness Goodbye. A Mishap With the Mask Snaps Asriel Out of It": (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) . . . Sub-Entry 379: "Adonis Tries to Pick The Bones. Violet's Been Brainwashed!" (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) . . . Sub-Entry 380: "Freeing Violet. Via Quest World Volt and Asriel Confront Their Nightmares." (UNDER CONSTRUCTION) . . . Chapter 39 Back To Part 4 Back to Project Lost Dreemurr Next